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Survivor’s Guilt It Is Not

I have survivor’s guilt. It’s survivor’s guilt. You are experiencing survivor’s guilt. No, it is not. It’s not survivor’s guilt when you feel off about you ‘making it’ and your family not. It is not survivor’s guilt when you feel sick in your stomach that you have one foot in success and one foot in…More

I’m a Ferocious Warrior

I’m a ferocious warrior Don’t ask me what I’ve seen I’m a ferocious warrior don’t ask me to explain I’ve learned so long to survive I don’t know that I’ve seen what could have been I’ve walked and walked and leaned In I’ve read and read and thought I’d finally been only to find that…More

COVID Grief: Grieving Sudden Death

On Wednesday night I got news over text. The paternal grandmother of my oldest girls (my ex-MIL) passed away from COVID. The group text sent me on a tailspin. At first I was confused reading her name, no reference to her relationship to me. I first thought it was someone else and then realized, no,…More

Pain Tolerance

When I was a little kid I took great pride in having a ‘high pain tolerance’. If I fell (which happened a lot in my slippery high-heeled cowboy boots), got into a fist fight with my male cousins (never one to back down), or burned myself in our outdoor disqueras – I would grit my…More

Hermanito

I wonder how you are doing. That part is easy, it could be a feeling of self satisfaction, wondering how you are. Where you are. If you are in the streets again or have a roof over your head. But it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt just the same. The wondering, the not knowing, The…More

What is Abuse?

A beautiful dinner of carne asada, salad with generous slices of aguacate and tomate on top, and beans – always freshly made – on the side. As I inhaled the plate before me heard the crack, centimeters from my ear. I coughed on flecks of porcelain dish that sprayed throughout the table once it ricocheted off the wall. The wall where my dad did not aim, my mom beside me.More

Normalizing Failure with Scott Hanselman

I think you sense a theme here 🙂 My partner once told me that he filters the associates he wants to work with by seeing if they’re the type to run towards a fire or run away from it. Well I know that I’m the kind to run full speed towards the fire, take my…More

10 Things to Manage Stress

How to manage your workload and goals amidst a pandemic The pandemic and shelter in place orders have been a massive stressor on all of us. Personally, this Spring I was carrying 20 engineering units at Stanford while caring for my 4yo and helping my two teenage kids with their sudden online learning. This Summer…More

Hispanic Heritage Month: Honoring The Sacrifice

“Bring something from your favorite sports team or cultural event,” said the prompt. It opened a box of deep and rich memories associated with my Dodgers. It reminded me of why I love the team so deeply and why I could never love another team as intensely. My dad and I did not speak more…More