We’re in the season of college acceptances which can bring a great source of stress, joy, and disbelief. We are captivated by the announcements from family, friends, and complete strangers who leap out of computer chairs wearing hoodies from their top choice school. But what happens once these students arrive on campuses which are far…More
Survivor’s Guilt It Is Not
I have survivor’s guilt. It’s survivor’s guilt. You are experiencing survivor’s guilt. No, it is not. It’s not survivor’s guilt when you feel off about you ‘making it’ and your family not. It is not survivor’s guilt when you feel sick in your stomach that you have one foot in success and one foot in…More
Pleasing
I thought to ask myself why I’ve always seeked to Please To die lived life like my fate is written yet future unfurled I’ve pushed against it the Daily Passive Question In front of the bus, no the passengers and driver will get hurt Jump off City Hall where I worked How to ensure I’d…More
I’m a Ferocious Warrior
I’m a ferocious warrior Don’t ask me what I’ve seen I’m a ferocious warrior don’t ask me to explain I’ve learned so long to survive I don’t know that I’ve seen what could have been I’ve walked and walked and leaned In I’ve read and read and thought I’d finally been only to find that…More
COVID Grief: Grieving Sudden Death
On Wednesday night I got news over text. The paternal grandmother of my oldest girls (my ex-MIL) passed away from COVID. The group text sent me on a tailspin. At first I was confused reading her name, no reference to her relationship to me. I first thought it was someone else and then realized, no,…More
Pain Tolerance
When I was a little kid I took great pride in having a ‘high pain tolerance’. If I fell (which happened a lot in my slippery high-heeled cowboy boots), got into a fist fight with my male cousins (never one to back down), or burned myself in our outdoor disqueras – I would grit my…More
Hermanito
I wonder how you are doing. That part is easy, it could be a feeling of self satisfaction, wondering how you are. Where you are. If you are in the streets again or have a roof over your head. But it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt just the same. The wondering, the not knowing, The…More
What is Abuse?
A beautiful dinner of carne asada, salad with generous slices of aguacate and tomate on top, and beans – always freshly made – on the side. As I inhaled the plate before me heard the crack, centimeters from my ear. I coughed on flecks of porcelain dish that sprayed throughout the table once it ricocheted off the wall. The wall where my dad did not aim, my mom beside me.More
Normalizing Failure with Scott Hanselman
I think you sense a theme here 🙂 My partner once told me that he filters the associates he wants to work with by seeing if they’re the type to run towards a fire or run away from it. Well I know that I’m the kind to run full speed towards the fire, take my…More
10 Things to Manage Stress
How to manage your workload and goals amidst a pandemic The pandemic and shelter in place orders have been a massive stressor on all of us. Personally, this Spring I was carrying 20 engineering units at Stanford while caring for my 4yo and helping my two teenage kids with their sudden online learning. This Summer…More
Susana Benavidez 