Survivor’s Guilt It Is Not

I have survivor’s guilt. It’s survivor’s guilt. You are experiencing survivor’s guilt.

No, it is not.

It’s not survivor’s guilt when you feel off about you ‘making it’ and your family not.

It is not survivor’s guilt when you feel sick in your stomach that you have one foot in success and one foot in trying to figure out your family’s mess.

Why can’t you lift them out of this?

Why can’t they just…

STOP

Being so messy.

So wrong.

So guilty.

So easily captured by the rules and laws written surreptitiously to capture your own.

Survivor’s Guilt Is is Not

When the system was meant to oppress you and everyone like you

When you and those like you were thrown away as soon as you could suck

on Your mother’s tit

Full of nourishment

and bitterness

Survivor’s Guilt It Is Not

When the system is designed to embitter your mother

with back breaking work

with the stress of finances

with the stress of feeding you

with the stress of being carried away each time a siren is sung

A siren sings

Migra! Migra!

Weeeeooooo Weeeeeeoooooo!

Red lights

Blue Lights

Still make your insides cold

Arrest your body

As you realize

You have not survived

One foot in “success”

One foot in the mess

created by the system to pull you and those like you down

Down

Down

Until you drown

Almost

Yet bob up and find a way to peek

Step

Gingerly

then break into a thundering run

away

From survivors

A burden

by a system’s maker

to feel guilty

for living

existing

Guilt

is not yours

It’s not you that

Keeps you

in Guilt and Wonder

Why me?

When you could ask, instead

why this?

Change this

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