Archive | Stanford University RSS feed for this section

Transferring to Stanford Q&A – A student’s perspective

12 Jan

Hi! If you’re here because of this tweet, welcome!

Screen Shot 2020-01-17 at 3.53.04 PM

Feel free to read more about me in the About page but a brief intro:

I’m a senior at Stanford University majoring in CS in the AI track. I’m also a transfer student (transferred from a Cañada Community College). I’m Latinx, first-gen, and nontraditional (over 25) and a mom to three girls.

To start off PLEASE APPLY. I’ll let you in on a little secret: Every single one of us thought we wouldn’t get in because our year the acceptance rate was <2%. Pero aqui estoy!

To share information as much as possible I will list Q&A from DM’s resulting from the tweet above. While I wish everyone well, I am concentrating my efforts in increasing the number of Latinx, Black, Native American, first-gen / low income community college transfers. I respectfully ask that you not DM me on the process for grad school or frosh app (no idea). Follow me @susanabenavidez and DM me your questions.

Let’s begin! I will share the questions I’ve received and answers I provide. Please note that my answers do not in any way represent Stanford nor are legal advice nor are to be taken as official instructions of any kind. Names are removed and questions are edited for clarity.

Q. How do I event start the application process?

A. Here’s a checklist from Stanford detailing exactly what you need to submit for your application.

Q. Can I afford it?

A. I can’t answer this question for you but I can share that Stanford has been incredibly generous with me and many of the transfer students that I know. I got into UC Berkeley – you can read about that here and the financial package I got meant I had to pay several thousands of dollars even though I qualified for financial aid with a low family contribution. When I got into Stanford – you can read about that moment here I didn’t respond. It wasn’t until the transfer director contacted me to see what was going on. I told her I was waiting on financial aid because I couldn’t commit without knowing what I would owe. She checked and I got my FA letter almost immediately.

I almost screamed when I saw the generous $$$ scholarship they awarded me. It was like they made it so I couldn’t say no. My youngest was 4 months old when I started and they even provided me with a daycare stipend. It obviously doesn’t cover all of my expenses as I have a big family but it covers enough to give me peace of mind.

See here for official information from Stanford about cost / aid estimates.

Q. Do they accept transfer students out of California?

A. Yes! My transfer class had students from all over the US and an international student from Singapore.

Q. Hi Susana – I’m considering CS at Stanford!. I’m already a self-taught developer but I want to go back to school. My biggest obstacle is that I’m undocumented and low income. I’m not sure where I can find resource for my specific case. Any tips, would be much appreciated. 🙂

A. I emailed financial aid and will report back what they say (didn’t give any identifying information)

“Hi Susana, Stanford treats undocumented students as US domestic students in the undergraduate admission process, assessing their applications under the same need-blind admission policy it uses for citizens of the United States. Stanford will use institutional funds to meet the full demonstrated financial need of undocumented students who are admitted. Please share our Undocumented Student webpage with your friend and let him know that he is welcome to call our office if he has any concerns.

Our number is 650-723-3058.

Financial Aid Officer Montag Hall, 355 Galvez Street Stanford, CA 94305-6106 | T 650.723.3058”

Here is the link to the Undocumented Student webpage: financialaid.stanford.edu/undergrad/how/

Q. I received several questions that asked for general advice. I mean many of us are first-gen students and didn’t receive the guidance on how to apply to schools or that Stanford even takes transfers.

“I’m a second year (first born and gen) student at —- college and I wasn’t planning on transferring anywhere until 2021 as a —— student. I honestly never considered Stanford until I came across your tweet! I need all the orientation I could get so I was wondering if you had some pointers that I could work on for during this next year! Thank you sm.”

A. What I did:

JOURNAL Your Accomplishments:

I kept notes of everything I was involved in and did outside of academic school work:
  • Approach professors to take their honors course – some offer a contract you sign and you just have to do extra work and a research paper – apply to symposiums at Berkeley and Stanford to present your research – your counselor should have this info
  • I was a single mom so I added everything I do as a parent on top of working full time and going to school
  • I volunteered at startup orgs showing that my interest in entrepreneurship was tangible
  • I started a social media group for parents that grew into a building a new school effort, served as advertising for the Chamber of Commerce to attract families, and resulted in networking that got me my first business development job
  • I worked up the ladder in business development and highlighted my leadership position at a prestigious firm
  • I had community organizing experience, freelance writing, and showed how much I grew and survived while thriving. It’s hard to remember everything if you don’t take notes in a journal.

Your accomplishments don’t have to look like mine. The transfer class for my year was incredibly diverse and ran the gamut of life experiences. That’s the point. Stanford wants to attract a diverse community of students.

Q. How did you structure your personal statement?

A. My personal statement told a story that went something like this:

  • who I was + where I started
  • the trauma / struggles that defined my early ‘failure’
  • how I took that failure and let it motivate my next moves
  • my commitment to higher education + equality of education (my focus is edtech / CS + Social Good)
  • highlighted the turn from where I was to what I did to accomplish -> highlighted the biggest and most impressive accomplishments
  • how I would leverage my time at Stanford to reach my goals (for me, a startup in edtech / social good space)

That’s sort of the short story of how I approached my personal statement. I would share it except that my essay was deeply personable, emotionally raw, and describes trauma / abuse that I don’t want to share here quite yet.

But the higher level approach I took was – what do I have that others don’t? Why am I impressive? I took the little that life gave me as a start and turned it into mother effin magic.

Let me illustrate my point via a couple of pictures:

candAvB

ladders

Highlight the Upward Trend of your Life that demonstrates sustained growth.

How do you respond to ‘failure’? I’ve had many challenges in my life. ‘Failure’ is hard, really hard. Most people give up, settle, crumble under failure. Others take that failure, learn from it, pivot and take off to their potential. Be the latter. 

failure

In other words, I wasn’t the ‘perfect’ candidate given the early ‘failures’ in my life. But I definitely demonstrated resilience and the ability to not run away from my problems or the shame that comes with them. I owned what happened to me as well as the decisions I made. I spoke about the motivations in my life for a better life and Not Giving Up (for me my little girls). And I showed what a badass I am by letting them see the growth from where I started and what I accomplished with the little I had.

Q. Did you do any research as a community college student?

Q. What is campus life like?

A. I feel like you have to ask someone else on what it’s like as a 20 yo but from my very unique experience:

The first year was tough. It can feel incredibly isolating when you are a nontraditional student and don’t feel like you belong. I joined and took on leadership positions at Women in CS and Society of Latinx Engineers. This helped somewhat. I also took several creative writing courses and that was a great way to meet friends as the classes are tiny (~8 students v. the hundreds in my CS classes).

Eventually I worked through the belief and voice that told me I didn’t belong and worked on carving out spaces for me on campus.

Last year and this year have been incredible socially. I feel like I have friends wherever I go and I very much feel like Stanford is home.

I have done so much while on campus, the opportunities are incredible:

  • Did the Levinthal Tutorial, a 1:1 class with a Stegner Fellow and read one of my short stories to a large audience. I’ve never shared outside of small workshopping.
  • Was a Seeds of Change cohort leader where I went through Stanford’s Women’s Executive Leadership program and taught similar concepts to high school girls interested in STEM
  • Member of CS + Social Good where I took the incredible CS51/52 two quarter course where we ideated, prototyped, and then built a product as a solution posed by an edTech partner
  • Summer CS + Social Good Fellow where I interned at a tiny but powerful edTech startup. I grew so much as an engineer – I had to – I was the 2nd engineer on staff!
  • WiCS and SOLE: Met so many companies that I recruited to come speak to our members, including some very cool CEOs that I really admire
  • Moderated an event with Ellen Pao A Conversation with Ellen K. Pao, tech investor and advocate, the former CEO of reddit, and a cofounder of the award-winning diversity and inclusion nonprofit Project Include
  • Took the novel writing class and have a draft (very rough) of my first novel!
  • Presented my research at the Latinx in AI workshop at NeurIPS last month in Vancouver
  • Forged incredible relationships with CS professors that I deeply admire
  • Met my co-founder!
  • Interned at Y Combinator and Thunkable, a YC Company
  • El Centro for Friday Cafecito (Mexican sweet bread + hot chocolate / sometimes atole or champurrado YUM!)

I know I’m forgetting a lot. But you get the point, if you leverage the resources there is so much to do!

 

How to raise children while not being an asshole

17 May

I have been told many times, “You should write a book about raising children! Your girls are just magical!” And every time I heard that I thought, what a fraud I must be to let them think that I could be an authority on raising children. I’m afraid enough on how some day I may fuck up my own children, I really don’t need the stress of having rando 24 year old’s coming up to me to tell me how the book I wrote enabled their shitty parent. No thank you!

But…

I can write a blog post or two… Porque, well, my answer to people who ask, “How do you do it? How do you raise lovely girls?” I always kinda scratch my head and think, it’s quite easy…Don’t be an asshole and you’ll be fine.

But I’ll expand on that because I can understand that not being an asshole can be pretty vague. What I mean is treat your children the way you want them to approach their life. Let me break it down for you:

  1. Be kind. This one seems the easiest to forget. We forget what it is like to have unkind words, looks, actions, judgements, etc. targeted at us. When someone chooses to be shitty to you instead of you know, just providing a kind accepting smile, that hurts. It cuts. And it may not seem like it should hurt that much but do we really want our children to treat others as if they are an executioner a la Death by a Thousand [paper] cuts? This is a daily practice. It means leaving the crap you have accumulated throughout the day from stress at work/school/home outside of the relationship you have with your kid. And btw, it’s totally cool to let them know, “Momma/{insert your title} is having a bad day. I’m in a funk and I’m trying to shake it mija, can you give me a moment to shake it out?” Or whatever makes sense to you. In other words, communicate with your child. Let them in on what’s going on so they don’t feel like the only time you address them is to tell them what to do or what they did wrong.
  2. Don’t do the mean shit your parents did to you. Let’s be real, we all had parents that did something (or todo, osea everything) that totally still fucks with our head today. Yet, we don’t really talk about it. We deal with it. And yet we don’t because in moments of high stress we find ourselves turning around and doing the same damn thing to our own kids. Why? Because we let it simmer and boil and we dare not let off steam towards our parents but  somehow our kids are acceptable targets??? This makes no sense. So next time you feel the anger escalating, think, “How would young me respond to this? Would I do this to myself as a child?” You can’t imagine how many times I have stopped myself by asking, “What would my parent have done?” and then ask myself, “how would that make me feel?” and then after quickly surmising that it would make me feel shitty, I think, “Well, let’s not repeat that mistake.” and try to take it from there. You don’t need to have all the answers. Ask my 3 year old, I just answer most of her “Why [insert all matters that pertain to daily life here] happen?” with “Why do you think it happens?” Works every time. That golden nugget aside, en serio, a little humility and honesty in telling your kid (especially your teenager) that your job is to be a guide and cheerleader to help them find their path (while not living in your basement) and not to be the holder of all answers, will go a long way. Because we should raise our children to be flexible with life’s uncertainties and with our role as (human) guides.
  3. Love you child. This doesn’t mean just blindly claim that “I would do anything for you!” but instead to practice unconditional love is to know you who your child is. Because let’s face it, there’s a diversity of humans on this planet and they are not all delightful so don’t just say “I love you” —  show them that you are there to get to know them and truly SEE and HEAR (Listen Linda! didn’t go viral for nothing, we all need to be heard) them. You may be able to stop the next serial killer, I mean raise the next genius (insert whatever dream parents have for themselves, I mean their children). “What are their passions?” trumps, “What will get them into X school?” Because in a world of big data and algorithms that measure your likelihood of success and impact, most schools will not buy that your kid is interested in everything.
  4. You will have ups and downs. You will have moments where you think, fuck! I just totally screwed my kids. But keep in mind, as long as you are caring for your children (listening to them, feeding them, providing them nurturing), you will be okay. I mean you’re leagues ahead of what my set of humans did for me and look how well I turned out…potty mouth aside. With my girls I’ve learned to push and guide but to also step back and let them explore to have them find what they love. Once they know that, nurture that love and discipline to pursue it. That’s the epitome of passion and privilege and who doesn’t want to provide privilege and opportunities to their child? If you say no, you’re lying! Or you’re a [ insert your own adjective here ] parent…
  5. Your main job is to guide. To protect. To provide. To love. If you provide a loving, understanding, nurturing, and nutritive childhood for your kiddo, you are doing much more than most. But know that sometimes (many times) you will have to be stern and not fun. Many, many times you will think what the heck? How am I messing this up? How am I [insert your own definition of failure here] ? But the fact that you have that concern and are doing something to be a positive influence and presence in your child’s life is more than enough. You don’t have to solve all of your child’s problems. That’s like taking over the console and winning all the games while your children just sit back as quiet spectators. Life will provide many windy and interesting paths as well as straight lines (directed cyclical graphs.. DAGs – sorry I am currently taking an artificial intelligence class and well DAG is just the most awesome acronym) and you should remind them that not one decision they make will be the decision of their life. Each decision informs following outcomes and decisions but it never gets out of our control (thank you USA but actually know that your mind and thought process are yours, no one owns nor can dictate how they should function [again unless you’re that serial killer /harmer of living things]). You can find your way to the same destination by taking several paths so it is never the end of the world. Unless you’re that serial killer I mentioned, by which I hope you have been caught already.
  6. Raise your children to be curious and to have follow through. If your kid loves to dance, have them find classes they can take and see if they have the self-motivation to work towards it (with appropriate age-related guidance). Teach them to be lovers of reading – hint: love to read yourself and do it in front of them. They will want to follow.
  7. Be open minded and welcoming of who they are as they find and define themselves. Don’t put baby in a corner. Let them guide you when it comes to getting to know them. Because they will always be the expert (and should feel as much) on who they are.
  8. Raise them to love themselves. This means you have to watch what you say about yourself. If you say “love yourself” while complaining about how you look, how much money you make, what title you have or don’t, etc. you will not be effective. Practicing self-love is hard but worthwhile; so do it and be the kind guide that helps your children grow into self-loving, kind adults that are ready to treat the world with love.
  9. Raise them to seek happiness, balance, and independence. This means, help them derive happiness from the sound of trees rustling, the feeling of the sun on their skin, a hummingbird flying around your flower bed, [insert any of mother natures beautiful daily (by the second) gifts. Raising children who can cool off, who can look at life like a glass half full, who can rise above the gray…that is the mark of a good parent. And a healthy child and future adult.
  10. Many more things but this covers a big chunk of it. Just practice being a non-shitty parent over and over again and talking to your kids. Listening to them. Instilling in them the qualities you wish others had around you.

When All Else Fails, if you had shitty parents, do the opposite of what they did. Hasn’t failed me yet. 😉

Silicon Valle MX

The Mexican tech scene

Lucesitas.com

Inmigracion: Intercambio de experiencias, consejos y preguntas sobre la CITA en CIUDAD JUAREZ

On the Fast Lane with the Flying Monkeys

Taking Life by the Horns and Making it Mine: Bad Ass Student, Professional, and Mother to 3

Bucket List Publications

Indulge- Travel, Adventure, & New Experiences

ChicanaBlogs

Smile! You’ve entered the poet's Blog

Flat-Footed

Surviving Los Angeles one step at a time

WordPress.com

WordPress.com is the best place for your personal blog or business site.