A Belated Mother’s Day Post
The rise and fall of my emotion is punctuated with bouts of extreme joy and maddening sadness on this day.
Your excitement, hardly contained, explodes into a dazzling smile that reaches your eyes – like shining angels that guide my way.
“Cookies! We made you cookies and a cake! It’s a surprise but it’s a cake.”
It’s a reminder of everything good in my life. Seeing the two of you grow up is piercingly beautiful, hauntingly sweet. I see your smiling faces start to grow sharp with the angles of pre-pubescent youth and I gasp.
Where has the time gone?
I held you to my chest and your body would rise with each breath.
Rise and Fall
Now I hold you close as you cuddle up to me but I can’t breathe with the weight of your growing bodies on my chest.
Where has the time gone?
Am I doing right by you? The happiness of holding you close makes me break down inside and weep openly within the confines of my conscious as it weighs heavily on me that I only give you myself. Will you be fine?
Rise and Fall
We get home and you take my hand, running up the stairs to show me your beautifully hand crafted decorations on the sugar cookies you have baked with your tia. Colors of happiness – light hues of green, pink and baby blue.
“A cake, we made you a cake!”
A strong palette of dark chocolate with accents of light pink mini hearts: a reflection of your own spirits. And I know that you are not just fine, you are wonderfully enveloped in my blanket of love.
Rise and Fall
Day by day. Smile by smile.
Rise we will.
Susana Benavidez 